B19 Immediate Changes of the Topic
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B19 Immediate Changes of the Topic
I watched how the conversations in our pub work with friends from our club, and I discovered very useful principle that frees me immensely in communicating with my unbelieving friends. I call it „cuts“, or even a radical change of topic is common.
When I quietly listen to conversations around the table, sometimes I watch incredible thematic leaps that have absolutely no logic! I don’t mean drunks blabbering nonsense. These are sober intelligent people and their topics are very interesting! Something new „just“ occurred to him, so he asks. Next time he himself „just“ begins to tell what came to his mind. And it all is remarkable in terms of the content! However, their topics alternate quite unpredictably – from work to family, then to sports, to the car, to the taste of pickled Camembert, to the weather, a book read or relationship issues…
There was a time when, in conversations with friends, I devised „donkey bridges“ in an effort to „naturally“ reach the Bible and Jesus. I must tell you that my attempts of „natural transitions“ have mostly proved to be quite unnatural. And sometimes I was making it up until the company started to break up and there nothing at all happened. After a series of lost experiences, I once gave up of „natural bridges“ and, exactly according to the model of my unbelieving friends, I learned to get right into the matter; as they move on to what just occurred to them: “Listen, George, I wanted to ask you, have you ever tried to read the Bible? I don’t mean religion or church, just the Bible?”
It turned out that if I had achieved a „connection“ in the previous minutes of the conversation – through my questions and listening and my own contributions to topics raised by my George – then my Bible topic is not a problem at all! George tells me what he is thinking and what interests him; so now I am telling him what I am thinking and what I am interested in. Of course, if I can find a link to a topic that is currently running, it’s great, but people like to start brand new topics! These are cuts in their conversations.
When I start the topic of Bible reading, for example, my George often runs away to something completely different. What then? I used to be so insecure that I never returned to my subject. Either I took it as George’s disinterest or I just didn’t know how to re-introduce my topic. „Maybe next time,“ I used to say to myself.
And today? I let George take his turn and I go with him for a while. In other words, I stay in touch with him. Then however – again without any hindrance – I „cut“ back to my topic. I just formulate it a little differently, or I have another point that I wanted to add, or I will add a new question, or I will repeat the previous one he has not answered, yet. „Yeah, George, I wanted to tell you about the Discovery that we have completely unbelieving people there! They are then surprised by how interesting and practical it is.“
Sometimes I watch frightened Christians to say a few quick, incomprehensible sentences about something Christian – such as a planned Christian event – and they immediately run away from their subject to something quite different. So that they won’t bother their George, accidentally. Do the opposite; suppose your George is interested! You yourself show that you are very interested and enriched, and that you know a lot of other people who have been helped in life.
Will you try sensitive and bold „topical cuts“ with your unbelieving friends? Tomorrow? Or next week? I assure you, it’s easier than you think.
Lord Jesus, observing your conversations with people inspires me a lot! I see Your clear goals in them and also Your topical cuts. Thanks for amazing example.