B16 They Feel Good with Me
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B16 They Feel Good with Me
In order to effectively share living Jesus with our unbelieving friends, we must be with them! This is inevitable! I observe quite a few Christians somehow wanting people around them to „believe“, but rather than talking about Jesus with them, they would rather drop a leaflet in their mailbox or give them an invitation to a Christian event and leave quickly. Of course, the Lord God can sometimes use even that supremely.
However, please try to instill the principle:
If we want to share living Jesus with people, we must be with them!
And for them to want to be with us, our presence must bring something to them. I will say this our way: We must be a „blessing“ to them. But that’s not a problem! From the abundance of blessings we receive, we can bless others abundantly. Blessing does not necessarily mean that we are always doing great. Sometimes connecting with people is more successful just when they see us in the difficult circumstances; as they observe that we draw our strength from living Jesus.
If we serve the people around us by sharing Jesus‘ blessing, in time the blessings will return to us multiplied! People are mostly like mirrors:
My attitude towards them contributes significantly to their attitude towards me.
So I initiate the attitude I want to see in them. The result is they are well with me, and naturally, I am well with them!
Does that mean I somehow submit to them to please them? Not at all! On the contrary, the kindness and blessings I share with them allow me to say my (or biblical) view of various things very clearly, but I tell it to them with respect for their person!
And here I come to an important element of our conversations with unbelievers: My George then feels so safe with me that he reveals his interest to me, his search, even his uncertainty and doubt about his own opinions! George from atheistic background is used to not admit that he is interested in something spiritual; he does not admit it to himself, let alone in front of others. But he is especially interested in my personal experiences, which doesn’t fit into any of the boxes in his head. Poor George now has to break down his long-term barriers to admit his interest and ask me something.
In our contact, therefore, I try to create a safe space for my George to even doubt, search and create in my presence; so that what he says is not obliging. This is the essence of search – he can freely express what comes to his mind, and then change it completely when a different view comes up.
How should I tell it to you? Most of my unbelieving Georges feel fine with me! Even when they start to acknowledge their „sinfulness,“ and I urge them to invite the Lord Jesus into their lives and, as we call it, to „confess their sins.“ Along with the kind challenges, I still show them respect and open up free space for their decisions.
That doesn’t mean I’m always successful and that everyone loves me! However, I flood them with such favor, interest and respect that they often do not even experience from their loved ones! And yet it is a) true of me; it must be true mainly from their own point of view! I say b) specific things that I value in them. Specificity is the basis of credibility. It’s c) personal from me – I say what I value in them and what inspires me. When it’s a long-term relationship, I do it d) often. And I try to be e) creative in that. I express my blessing in various ways so that none hears it, as a cliché that is no longer believed. (See the article entitled „Parameters of effective praise“, at my website Extradimension.cz.)
What’s the principle of this lesson? Most of my unbelieving Georges are fine with me! Being with me is stimulating, encouraging, building, inspiring for them. At the same time, they know that being with me will always be a challenge that will not leave them at rest.
How do your unbelieving acquaintances feel near you? Do they perceive they are accepted, they have value for you? Do they feel well with you? What can you change in your approach to them tomorrow and what within a week?
Lord Jesus, thank You that even though we were abominable sinners for You, You came to us, You joined us, and You took away that abominable sin from us at extremely high price.